@2 years ago
This is Andrew. If anyone EVER see’s this from my town, most likely I will die from embarrassment. But anyway.. I’ve liked him forever now. He seems so untoucheable; so out of reach. I guess i like that. I like that he makes me chase after him. Under all my tears, i like the uncertainty of knowing if we’ll ever even speak again. Although we barely talk, i would still do anything and absolutley everything for this boy. When his name pops up in conversation, i feel like i can’t breathe. Paralyzed. Despite how many times i’ve cried over him, you bet that i would take him back at any second if i had the chance. He is the one boy i would give my everything to. He is the one boy i would give up everything for. So many mixed signals, so much confusion. When i see him with other girls, it feels like my heart has been completley torn out, it kills me to watch. He treats me like complete shit, yet why do i still go after him? Honestly, i’m not too sure myself. As Bob Marley’s said “Truth is, everyone’s going to hurt you. You just gotta find the one’s worth suffering for.” This, i believe, is the boy i will suffer most over, but somehow.. I have some faith that he’s worth it.. With all of this, i’m still not getting my feelings across for him. When he simply says my name, it takes my breathe away. I get weak. When I think about how we used to be, I get sick, i feel dizzy. I miss when it was just me and him, and i think about everything i would do to get ”us” back every single day. I would do anything. I know this sounds completley dramatic, but if anyone knows what I feel like, they’ll understand. Now, it feels like there’s a huge, gaping, dark black whole in my stomache that just goes on forever. I hate picturing my life without him, can’t stand it. He means so much to me, even through all we’ve been through. Is this love? Really, I’m not too sure. All I know is i can’t go on like this, liviing without him.